My boobs hurt and I call into question every emotion I’ve had these past two weeks.
You called me unicorn and I remembered what it was when we spoke every day. I remembered how I felt in the morning when you bumped me awake. I remember you. I had forgotten you.
The spaces I create in the lack. In your absence. And I have to remind myself these are not me. But I wonder who I’ll be in the next space and if I can even say she will be me.
We sat in the dark and I felt a sense of camaraderie with you I wish I felt all the time. I wish we shared all the time, but then we were in the light and things changed and I thought oh well.
I think about people who do really important things and I think about how we make meaning and how hard it is for me to smile at a stranger or make a phone call and wonder why.