Tryouts for the human race 

“You are about to embark on the most wonderful experience of your life I will not explain at this moment how and why it works I don’t have the time It just does”

I told her my back was breaking and I couldn’t keep it up and without missing a beat or hesitating or changing her tone she said, “No, it’s not. Yes, you can.” 

Oh, well, when you put it that way. 

And I called Ireland and I remembered when I felt like anything could be possible and I wanted to do whatever I needed to feel that way again. 

I remembered when I jumped in the ocean and it was frigid and I thought this is silly and I escaped and now I think: This is silly. How do I escape?

I’m nice to her and she doesn’t listen. I’m mean to her and she listens. Don’t you think it’s better then, if I’m a cold cold man? Why do people treat you the way you want to be treated when you don’t smile or chat at them? Such power. 

I saw you from afar and I didn’t think anything. I didn’t want anything. I didn’t know what to think or what to want. I knew you were near even before I saw you. I walked toward you and watched you get further and further away. Smaller and smaller. Quicker and quicker. Why can’t we realize how small we are. I want to tell you that I thought nothing. That there was nothing to think. My book to you will be titled, I know you know. 

Look for it on shelves across the nation. 

I’m not worthwhile. Is that how you say? I’m not worth your while, maybe instead. There’s not much to gain or have or obtain. Return on investment you cannot seek. 

Albert Camus knows what I mean. 

I don’t like it here. I’ve burned the soup. 


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