“I do not like them, Sam I am”

Sylvia Plath: I must get back into the world of my creative mind; otherwise, I die. I must be lean and write and make worlds beside this to live in.

So, let me be. You don’t have to take on my well-being, but don’t tell me how to feel or how to be or what to say. Don’t dictate what bubbles up in my chest. I might be feeling awkward or uncomfortable or confused or unsure, but let me have it. Let me be broken and desperate and needy and sad and lost and lonely and distant.

We are the ones choosing how to frame things.

“In life, the challenge is not so much to figure out how best to play the game; the challenge is to figure out what game you’re playing.” -Kwame Anthony Appiah

When we want something of someone–is that okay? Can you do that without seeing someone as parts? The bits and pieces? Need this, not that? Do you pursue that without attachment? You want this knowledge, or this favor, or this body–does that mean you don’t care about the rest of the person?

We want to be the best and mean the most, but no one can and no one does. We fear the responsibility of others. The weight of others. I am not perfect; I will let you down. I don’t want to let you down. I want you to think I am perfect. I am afraid you will see my flaws before I let you down or as I am in the process of letting you down. You will realize I am not perfect and you will say or think terrible things about me. And then what? Everyone will leave me. I will be alone all because you asked me for a part. A bit of me. So I detach. I keep away before you have the opportunity to blow my cover.

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