Epistemology 

You don’t see it because you’re stuck in your story. This is the story you’ve told and this is how you’ve come to believe it. The thing is–you have to step outside of your story to recognize the plot holes, but then step back in to still have a way of knowing. 

What a problem 

Like many nights before–I drive home. I drive home in the night and taste the stale sugar on the back of my tongue. I seek it out in the edges of my teeth. The sensation reminds me of smoking pot out of your cheap headshop hitter until the back of my throat burned and my lips were raw from the conductive heat. Now it’s just tea and chocolate that make my eyes quiver at the corners as I focus them on the road. 

I don’t mean to make you hurt. I see your wound and I push my finger into it because I love you and because I think …I know … This will make you stronger. I can make you stronger. I can make you doubt the power of the pus and the blood, once I show you the raw flesh underneath. This is the story I tell myself. I believe in your narrative. I support your voice as an author, but here is where you lose the reader. I am your editor in disguise, didn’t you know. If you just let me peel back the skin a little more, I know you will understand. 

Here is where you lose the reader poke poke don’t get offended just reconsider your word choice, reconsider the setting, reconsider the name of this character. You can make this stronger. You’re selling yourself short poke poke. 

Don’t cry just rewrite. If I don’t hurt you guess who will. 

I am not your kryptonite I am your spinach, darling. 

An opossum runs out in front of me. In typical opossum behavior–it stops, turns, stares my headlights dead in their bulby plastic eyes, and stops. I feel myself tighten and cringe and prepare for the crunch of bone and gut beneath tire in such a way–I realize–I never have before. Where is the girl who would swerve and delight in the destruction? 

Someone has lived in the city for too long

I have been broken for a long time–what is the flavor today? Lemon. There’s a new vocabulary…a new lexicon for you. If you can tell yourself there, you will find it. If you read my comments and work on my notes…I think you’ll like what you find waiting on the other side of this revision. That was just a band-aid; this is new skin. 

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